Opportunities for Grace

One thing that the Lord has been teaching me is that guilt does not come from Him, conviction does. Guilt leaves us with the feeling that we've messed up and we're lost, conviction reveals our error and leads us to the truth. Conviction is a product of love. Guilt is a product of hate. 

For a long time I lived under guilt, and I allowed myself to be intermittently bogged down by despair and shame. I'm not saying I've led a terrible life, but I am saying that I didn't understand this part of God's character. God has brought me through some crazy things in the last year, and through it all, this lesson has remained constant. God is love, and he leads us with conviction.

I'm reminded of it at school, too. I constantly fail. I let down my kids in my planning, in loving them, in teaching them, in everything. 

The first place my mind goes every time is guilt. The feeling that I will never be good enough, I'll never be good as Mrs. Teacher-in-Second-Grade whose class adores her, or Mrs.Art-Teacher-of-the-Year at another school who seems to have the best lessons. Comparison is brutal to the heart.

Instead, I have to be reminded that guilt does not come from the Father, he offers opportunities for grace, and to do better in the situations where we feel we have failed. Because He IS love, he loves by offering us new possibilities every day, and in my case... every 40 minutes! :) 

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. 

Romans 8:1

Carly 

Persevering Patience

I started this school year with the mindset that I had the inclination to teach and handle every situation with the highest level of patience. My passion has always been working with kids and every job I have had since I was 16 has been working with kids, but nothing prepared me for my first full month as an elementary teacher. I quickly realized that I had the patience, but I didn't yet have the perseverance. I am sure many other teachers can relate. I understand even at this moment I am still learning. It has come as a tough lesson that I can also find value in in my walk with God. There is a process to obtaining perseverance, and you aren't born with it, you aren't given it when you become a new Christian; it comes with a little bit of struggle, hardship, and learning. What I have grasped is that I cannot teach on my own, I cannot depend on myself or I will utterly fail. It takes listening to God and worshipping Him in the morning on my way to work to prepare my heart for the day, it takes diligent prayer throughout my classes, remaining joyful despite what my day looks like, and a constant check of where my motives lie in my decision making. I am imperfect, but Jesus makes up for it, and I am constantly reminded of that as I work with these little lives each day. 

"And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us."
Romans 5:4

When Paul wrote about this persevering patience, it literally translates in Greek to "an abiding under." I have realized that in order to succeed in my calling I have to abide with Christ- not just in my small time, not just when I am in prayer- but on a moment to moment basis. We have a theme at school this year to anchor our kids to the fundamentals of learning, but once again it can apply to our faith. James calls us to anchor our lives in hope of the Lord's promises. 

"We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain, where Jesus has entered as a forerunner for us, having become a high priest forever according to the order of Melchizedek."

Hebrews 6:19-20

The Waiting Game

If you know me, you know my last few years have been an adventure. Living in London, experiencing an array of different countries in Europe in the process, moving back to Arkansas and getting to work as a museum educator at Crystal Bridges, getting engaged to Ben and now finding my dream job- it has been a whirlwind of a life the last few years. 

Through it all I have kept blogs, and with everything God is teaching me in this season, it is especially relevant now.

This summer was hard. I applied for countless jobs, interviewed for a few, and got rejected by all with, 

"You're great, you're what we are looking for, but we found someone with a little more experience!"

It was disheartening every time. I questioned whether I was pursuing the right path. 

As I sat waiting for the Crystal Bridges tram system one day, I was convicted by the quiet voice my doubt had been squelching. God's timing is perfect, the position I hadn't gotten was perfect for someone else, but it wasn't perfect for what his purpose was for me. I had to be patient and wait. 

I waited alright.

I had finally resigned myself to the fact that I was probably going to wait another school year, and work at Crystal Bridges this fall. Then I got a call from my former kindergarten teacher two weeks before school was to start. She was looking to fill an art teaching position at her school (she is now the principal).

I went in, interviewed, got the job, and in a matter of a few days I was hired on at Springdale Schools! If I am not a living testament of God's perfect timing I don't know who is. I know God allows us to go through the rough spots in life so we can grow closer to Him and persevere, but y'all, there is no doubt in my mind that He also works for the good of those who love Him and have faith in Him. I am learning how to teach and show the love of Jesus to these kids in my classroom every day through my actions, and I hope to share it with you on this blog. 

Whatever season you find yourself in, know that He has a plan and is working in you and refining you for His glory and purpose. 

"But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:25-28